I see you with one eye because
my other eye is too busy confronting reality.
With my right eye I take in your grace and beauty
while my other eye is jaundiced by the man in rags
begging for food or drink and maybe work.
Then I see your smile working hard to get my attention
but when I watch the news about some drive by shooting
of children my attention is split
and now I have one eye crying
and the other smiling back at you
My life feels crossed as my eyes peel away
in opposite directions.
One eye wants to enjoy life and the other crying
because of it.
It splits me apart right down the middle
and it is not that I don’t love you
I just don’t know how to love life
when it looks at me this way.
I always keep one eye peeled for trouble
and the other aimed for pleasure.
My fingers fly across my keyboard
creating beauty in people’s lives
so undernourished by pain.
My one eye feeling the blemish
my other trying to be optimistic.
But when I see you lying
there in erotic slumber
I want to close my bad eye.
I want to close my bad eye
when I walk down the street
even if it is Beverly Hills
because behind that façade
of rich and famous
lies this empty rice bowl soul.
And I want to close my bad eye
because it cries so damn much
and on that side I am running out of tears
tears of submission tears of admission
tears of seduction tears of reduction
too many damn tears bleeding
from that damn eye.
While the other stays awake
doing crossword puzzles
and writing love songs
and perhaps dripping
a tear of joy now and then.
But things are way out of balance
my tear ducts are out of balance
my emotions no longer harmonious
I see shadows playing in darkness
and I wonder
if my good eye
has any tears to spare.
© 2013 lgjaffe