I see you with one eye
because
my other eye is too busy
confronting reality.
With my right eye I take in
your grace and beauty
while my other eye is
jaundiced by the man in rags
begging for food or drink and
maybe work.
Then I see your smile working
hard to get my attention
but when I watch the news
about some drive by shooting
of children my attention is
split
and now I have one eye crying
and the other smiling back at
you
My life feels crossed as my
eyes peel away
in opposite directions.
One eye wants to enjoy life
and the other crying
because of it.
It splits me apart right down
the middle
and it is not that I don't
love you
I just don't know how to love
life
when it looks at me this way.
I always keep one eye peeled
for trouble
and the other aimed for
pleasure.
Life has me coming and going
I look both ways when I cross
the street
but I cannot wait for the
light to change
to make my moves.
I cannot wait for permission
mother may I
to breathe my life.
My fingers fly across my
keyboard
creating beauty in people's
lives
so undernourished by pain.
My one eye feeling the
blemish
my other trying to be
optimistic.
but I am having trouble
because I paid the wrong dues
and now my membership is up.
And when I see you lying
there in erotic slumber
I want to close my bad
eye.
I want to close my bad eye
when I walk down the street
even if it is Beverly Hills
because behind that façade
of rich and famous
lies this empty rice bowl
soul.
And I want to close my bad
eye
because it cries so damn much
and on that side I am running
out of tears
tears of submission tears of
admission
tears of seduction tears of
reduction
too many damn tears bleeding
from that damn eye.
While the other stays awake
doing crossword puzzles
and writing love songs
and perhaps dripping
a tear of joy now and then.
But things are way out of
balance
my tear ducts are out of
balance
my emotions no longer
harmonious
I see shadows playing in
darkness
and I wonder
if my good eye
has any tears to spare.
